Have you ever felt so lost and so alone?

It's weird. I'm not alone by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not lost. I know exactly where and who I am. I know what I want, and I know what I have. So, why should I be lost and confused? Answer: I shouldn't be. If you've ever wanted something like I want something, you'll know why.

I took a personality test for a paper I had to write for my pathways class. The personality test hit me dead on as an idealist. How do I know the personality test got it right? It said something that, I feel, describes me better than I could imagine. Three words. Three simple words that sum up why I'm lost and alone: Yearns for love.

That's it. I yearn for love. Yes, I am loved. I'm loved by my parents, my sister (I think), my friends, my family, possibly even my teachers. So, why do I yearn to be loved? Well, it's a different kind of love I yearn for. I yearn for someone. I want someone to LOVE, and who'll love me. Kind of like your modern day fairy tale. Everyone wants love. Yet, so few are blessed enough to find it. Why should I be any different?

Well, for one, I'm only 14. When I see the number, I really feel like I'm too young to be eager for love. But, when I don't see the number, it's something else entirely. Age shouldn't matter. I know I'm young. At the same time, I can't help feeling old. I think I'm just more mature than most people are at my age. I guess part of it is seeing the relationships around me.

My parents. They're not lovebirds, but they love each other. They're not embarrassing about love, but I can see it anyway.

My friends. Moriah and Kevin really. Goodness gracious. If there were a word for "so hopelessly in love," it would be made for them. I really think they're going to get married someday.

I don't know. Just, part of it is never having experienced any kind of love. (Besides familial and friendly love that is.) I've never been kissed and have never dated anyone. I've never been in a relationship. I've never been asked out, and never dumped. I've never had my heart broken, but I've never had it complete either.

This is why I yearn for love. Love is all around me. Is it my fault I can't help but want to experience some of it?